I’ve never heard the phrase “courageous parenting,” but it’s certainly a quality moms and dads need for their overwhelming roles.

When our twin sons were two, they gave my wife a big scare. She was in the kitchen and heard an unidentifiable sound. A rumbling followed by a patterned thunder of some kind. Perplexed, she walked outside. Gazing upward, Noonie saw our young whippersnappers running back and forth along our slightly angled roof.

Terrified, yet with a calm voice, my wife ordered them to “come down at once, exactly the same way you got up there.” That was courageous parenting at its best. Of course, I had to exhibit a form of courageous parenting when I arrived home to discipline them.

Looking through Scripture, even kings had varied results raising their kids. This is what I found:

“Joram son of Ahab became king of Israel in Samaria in the eighteenth year of Jehoshaphat king of Judah, and he reigned twelve years. He did evil in the eyes of the Lord.” (2 Kings 3:1-2 NIV)

“In the second year of Jehoash son of Jehoahaz king of Israel, Amaziah son of Joash king of Judah began to reign. He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord.” (2 Kings 14: 1,3 NIV)

“Jeroboam son of Jehoash king of Israel became king in Samaria, and he reigned forty-one years. He did evil in the eyes of the Lord.” (2 Kings 14:23-24 NIV)

Whether or not the parents were to blame, I’m not sure. We know that our kids can stray despite our great parenting efforts. One child might thrive but the next one can go off the rails.

I reflected on my own parenting history with our three kids. Let me share my limited wisdom about what we can do to be courageous in raising our children.

Admit our mistakes. The natural tendency is to look perfect to our kids. We want to appear to have it all together. You know as well as I do that we make thousands of mistakes as parents. By the time we get this role figured out, our kids are gone. It takes courage to admit our mistakes, especially our sins against our kids. When it’s necessary, coming to our child and asking forgiveness is a towering act of courage. Let’s make it a habit any time we fail.

Be honest. As our kids get older, it seems like we get dumber. They stop asking for advice. We need to be ready when they do ask. It might be about a relationship, crisis, failing, big decision or some other issue they’re grappling with. Ask God for wisdom. Be honest with them, even if you need to tell them something they may not want to hear. It takes courage to do that. Be sure to speak with a heart of love.

Discipline well. When our kids get out of line, we have a choice. Will we let it go, punish out of anger or discipline out of love? The third is the right choice. It takes courage to carry out discipline that’s not driven by anger or other destructive emotions. At the end of a long day, this is especially challenging. Be intentional about exercising courage in those frayed moments.

Have courage. Raise your child wisely. Admit your mistakes, be honest in giving advice and be faithful to discipline in love.

Make your connection with God your top priority. Your parenting depends on it. It’s a big job.

(From my new Devotional, Your Life With God: 30 Days of Courage. Available on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback formats.